Inspiration

Someone New

Hozier

Go take this the wrong way
You knew who I was with every step that I ran to you
Only blue or black days
Electing strange perfections is in any stranger I choose

Would things be easier if there was a right way
Honey, there is no right way

And so I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new

I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new

There's an art to life's distractions
To somehow escape the burning weight
The art of scraping through
Some like to imagine
The dark caress of someone else I guess any thrill will do

Would things be easier
If there was a right way, honey there is no right way

And so I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new

I wake, at the first cringe of morning
And my heart's already sinned
How pure, how sweet the love beneath it yeah
You would pray for him

'Cause God knows I fall
In love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day

Love with every stranger, the stranger the better
Love with every stranger, the stranger the better
Love with every stranger, the stranger the better
Love with every stranger, the stranger the better

And so I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new
I fall in love just a little ol' little bit
Every day with someone new

It hasn't been very long now that I've fully accepted myself as an Artist. To really grab hold of that mantle and wear it proudly. Deservedly. Honestly and without reservation. 

What has been happening could be referred to as a chrysalis moment. Some might say a rebirth. It doesn't feel like a plain 'ol mid-life crisis. I've come to understand and accept things about myself. I've found more stillness, though there's still plenty of turbulence, at least not everything is always on fire at every moment of every day ever.

Mainly I've let go of a LOT of guilt. Not specifically guilt about things I've done. More so shedding guilt about pieces of who I am. More accurately pieces that identify who I'm not.

I'm not a prude. It's ridiculous to remember how prudish my closest friends used to think I was. Maybe I was. I don't know, that's who I was anyway.  So not prudent to this conversation.

Actually if I'm being quite honest I'm more of a hedonist. I believe in pleasure. I don't believe a person should deny themselves pleasures just on the principle that it is pleasurable.

Speaking of, I am not a Christian. That is a lot of Dogma to let go of. I'm more of a Karma guy actually. Embracing a more "Big Picture" view on... well, everything... meaning that I have no more use for the self flagellating, self hatred heaped on my psyche by organized religion.

Which leaves more room for free thought. When you come to the realization that maybe your parents didn't have it right and all that hell-fire and brimstone stuff was more about patriarchal rule and order ...then you can start formulating your own plan.

My plan is to accept the fact that the title of Artist means that I see things differently than you do and I'm finally o.k. with that. It's my job to see things differently. To ask more questions, to push boundaries, to create things that pose questions instead of prescribing people cheap answers.

So does my Art matter? To me it does.

Art Heals and Here's How

Art exists to cause emotion, thought, reflection. So it's no wonder when human beings are at our lowest, art serves to make sense of the shit storm going on in our psyche. 

Does that mean art can only be born from deep psychosis and pain? Certainly not. There are a great many reasons to express oneself artistically. But for me and the purposes of this conversation I'll choose to focus on the healing power of art in my darkest hours.

I will also attempt to keep this from being as maudlin as a funeral procession with no trumpets.

Anyone close to me will confirm that I have trouble, often to the point of never doing so, voluntarily communicating my feelings. It's not a macho thing (hello have we met?) but a deep seated belief that no one gives a shit. So deep in the diet soda bottle everything goes until someone adds a soft and chewy mint then KABLOOWY all Hell breaks lose. Literally. No really sometimes it's super bad. 

Other times there are long spans of time where I just shut down, almost entirely. It can be a bit on the scary side. Like daily life functions become incredibly difficult. Brush my teeth? WHY NOT JUST TELL ME TO CLIMB MOUNT RUSHMORE YOU THOUGHTLESS JACKHOLE! See? Always with the turbulence. 

Yes that's a fantastic idea you just had there. Yes it had never ever in my life occurred to me to work with mental and medical health professionals to find just the right cocktail of pills that would help me live life more smoothly. Gosh that was easy. Guess that's the end of this blog entry.

Except it's not that easy, drugs are often the band-aid on a jugular and YES they do help and YES we patients should take them without fail and never be without them and Goddess forbid you ever show up to a social or family function after having missed a couple doses. Woh. Fireworks.

Look, this isn't that soap box. That's an entirely different, though related, soapbox. Meds and stuff. Ugh.

The thing the keeps the knife away from my wrists? The thing that keeps me focused on something other than how to do it without someone I love finding the body? The thing that provides projects that often take multiple days, weeks and even months to see to fruition... that's Art. 

My Art is not simply a collection of craft projects. My Art is not "a picture" and My Art is certainly not for everyone but for me it's everything. Nothing else keeps me going like producing a new painting in a method I'd never tried before, beginning to take moving pictures instead of just still ones, pushing myself to new levels and higher achievement.

Art literally heals the wounds that would otherwise consume me.

 

What's With All the Naked People?

What's With All the Naked People?

Have you ever seen a post-apocalyptic-dystopian-future movie? (1984, Hunger Games, Mad Max, Blade Runner, etc) There are so many and do you realize one of the traits they all share? Art has died. Beauty is irrelevant, people are controlled, thoughts are policed and originality is either widely criticized or even punishable

Read More